


A Paradox

by tcs1121



Series: Twists and Turns 'Verse [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-20
Updated: 2012-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-29 21:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tcs1121/pseuds/tcs1121
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b></p><p>Takes place approximately a year and a half after <i>And No Two Directions Are Ever the Same</i>, after Jared finished filming his documentary in the UK.<br/>--<br/>"I had a boyfriend once, and I really liked him.  Kind of really loved him, actually."<br/>~~*~~*~~</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Paradox

**Author's Note:**

> Timestamp to: [Twists and Turns](http://tcs1121.livejournal.com/10057.html) and [And No Two Directions Are Ever the Same](http://tcs1121.livejournal.com/11719.html)  
>  **Disclaimer:** Story and characters are, and continue to be, untrue.
> 
>  **Beta:** [kkgee](http://kkgee.livejournal.com/). I could not have done this without her. Her attention to detail, sharp mind, and gracious good nature made this a much better story. Thank you, my sweet.
> 
> All remaining mistakes are mine.
> 
>  **A/N 1:** Jared's POV. You could probably enjoy this timestamp without first reading _Twists and Turns_ and _And No Two Directions Are Ever the Same_ , but reading them would help you to fully understand it.
> 
>  **A/N 2:** The YouTube links take you just to music, no real video. So you're not missing anything if you place the curser over the link and ctrl + click to listen while reading.  
>   
> 
>  **A single .pdf of all three stories in this 'verse is[Here](http://www.mediafire.com/?31lb1di8uvked9e)**
> 
>  
> 
> And now with bonus podfic, read by [chemm80](http://chemm80.livejournal.com) Right [Here](http://chemm80.livejournal.com/94867.html) Podfic includes all three stories in this 'verse.

****

  
[   
](http://pics.livejournal.com/tcs1121/pic/00005w64/)   


The lights were dimmed almost to black as Jared softly played Jensen's guitar. In his voice that Jensen called "pleasing" Jared whisper-sang [In the Still of the Night](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRb1-SAAIzs).

Usually the meds took care of the worse of Jensen's pain within the hour, but sometimes it took longer. Like tonight. They were well past the one hour mark and halfway through the second.

These rare, prolonged episodes frightened Jared. He looked up at the wall clock and wondered how much farther he'd let the minute hand travel before he broke down and took Jensen to the ER. Jensen had assured him that the pain comes and goes when it wants to and given enough time and drugs, the pain always went away, but tonight was bad.

Jared wished he could rub Jensen's back or offer him sips of water, but when the pain was like this, any touch was too much. It was hands-off, voice only.

Jensen was huddled on their oversized bed with all the sheets and blankets carefully tucked away from him, pillows and comforter piled on the floor, ceiling fan turned off. His ragged breathing was interspersed with soft, pained gasps.

Jared sat on the overstuffed chair with his feet propped up on the ottoman half a room away, strumming, crooning old songs, and occasionally wiping his eyes.

"Any requests?" Jared asked after completing the last chorus of shooby-dos.

"You…You Belong to Me." Jensen gritted out.

Jared sighed in relief. "Which version? [The Duprees](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_VOU93wvKc&feature=related) or [Carla Bruni](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=murYvyEzpUM)?" He didn't wait for an answer as he began plucking the opening notes à la Bruni.

Jared checked the clock again. Jensen could talk, and that meant that they had reached the peak and were now on the downhill side of the battle. He had never witnessed pain so exquisite, or so debilitating as the pain Jensen's Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy caused him. Pain that came and went whenever it wanted to.

"Just remember 'til you're home again, you belong to me." Jared finished the last verse and slowly strummed the final chords. He tipped the guitar on its end and leaned it against the wall.

"Can I come over now?"

"Yes. Please."

He got on the bed, shifted over to Jensen's sweaty body and enfolded him gently. Jensen's breathing had evened out and his bloodshot eyes were focused on Jared.

"Hey, you," Jensen breathed.

"This was a rough one, babe. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Jensen closed his eyes and tangled his fingers with Jared's. "Just be here when I wake up."

"Nowhere else I want to be." Jared whispered as he let Jensen get comfortable against him. Jared kissed the top of Jensen's salty-wet head. "Nowhere else _to_ be, you're in _my_ bed."

"Such a sweet talker," Jensen murmured. "No wonder why I stick around."

"You stick around because You Belong to Me, and that's good since…[Baby I'm Yours](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6aqf52yfQQ)," Jared softly sang. "And I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky."

By the time the mountain crumbled to the sea, Jensen was snoring in Jared's arms.

~*~~*~~

"I don't get it, Jen. You pitch your lefty fastballs to Harley for over an hour at a time, and you banged up your good arm once when you tripped over Sadie, and nothing happened. But last night when I was just moving your shoulder up and down? Christ, almighty."

Jared handed Jensen his coffee at the tiled breakfast bar.

"I told you, Jare," Jensen slurred softly, "No reason. There's no way of predicting when it's going to happen. But, hey, up until last night, I'd been doing pretty good, right?"

Under other circumstances Jared would've thought the mild slurring and needy tone emitting from Jensen were adorable. Right now though, knowing they were the residual effects of strong painkillers, it made him sad.

"Maybe it was me tugging on your tight muscles."

Jensen sipped and said, "Yeah, maybe. Or maybe there was a strong wind blowing over the Alps."

"Yes, _exactly_." Jared agreed. He poured himself a cup and sipped it slowly. "You know, maybe you should consider having that procedure where they put you out and loosen up your shoulder muscles. Don't you think?"

Jensen blinked a couple of times before taking a bigger swallow.

"I'll think about it, but I'm telling you, it really is getting better. The RSD pain's way less frequent."

"I was stretching out your shoulder last night and your skin turned to ice right before your arm ballooned up on me."

"I know it did, but having them put me under so they can really stretch out the joint won't change whether the RSD pain hits. You know that. I know you think you triggered it by doing the range of motion, but how many times have you done it and nothing happened? Lots."

"Until last night, I thought I was doing you good."

" _You_ are doing me good. I’m just not sure that [Manipulation Under Anesthesia](http://therotater.com/blog/frozen-shoulder-manipulation) will do me good. I've had this fucked up shoulder for so long now. They're only suggesting it as a last resort."

"No, man, as a last resort before surgery. Before it's so tight they have to go in and cut the tendons to lengthen the muscles in your frozen shoulder. _Surgery_ is the last resort."

"Right, you're right," Jensen stood and drained his coffee cup. "But cutting into my shoulder over and over again is what messed it up in the first place." He placed his cup down and adjusted his arm inside the sling. "Don't want anymore cutting done, Jay."

"The manipulation thing isn't cutting."

"I know." Jensen yawned and stretched his left arm over his head. "Still, it wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I keep putting you through this."

"Putting _me_ through this? You idiot, you're the one…" Jared stopped. He knew the pain was unpredictable, he also knew how guilty Jensen felt because Jared suffered along with him.

"You idiot," Jared amended. "You're the one who has to put up with my singing. You'd think that alone would be incentive enough to take it easy."

Jensen smiled and cocked his head to the right. "Your singing's not so bad. You even take requests."

"And I do offer a fine selection of music," Jared grinned.

"So," Jensen said. "I want to go to work and then study for exams afterward, but I don't think I should drive. How about giving me a lift to _The Green Grower_ and Chris can take me to the campus library later on?"

"I can take you to the library."

"Nope, but I'll call you so you can pick me up after. You've got plans to make, a tux to get fitted for, invitations to address and a speech to write. I'm glad _I_ don't have to rent a tux to watch you accept your awards."

"Not awards, accolades."

"An accolade is an award. You're receiving recognition for _Excellence in Teaching_ , and for _Outstanding Research and Creative Activity_. Those are awards."

"No, an award is like an _award_. An accolade is more like, 'Dr. Padalecki. As chairman of the Recognition Committee it is my privilege to present to you a laurel…and hearty handshake.'" Jared grasped an imaginary presenter's hand, shaking it vigorously.

"Stuff never gets old with you does it?"

Jared glanced to the left and with a faraway look said, "Mongo only pawn…in game of life."

"Okay. It's still pretty funny," Jensen said.

"I think a black silk bandanna with a silver Maltese cross will go well with a tux. My folks would be impressed, except they'll credit _you_ with how well turned out I am."

"Love your family, man, especially Professor Mom Padalecki."

"That's only because she cooks for you and kisses on you."

"Hey, Megan kisses me." Jensen batted his eyelashes.

"Well, she has her PhD in Behavioral Science so she finds you interesting, and possibly delicious."

"Careful. Doctor Sister Padalecki-Watson might be my favorite kisser, next to you." Jensen paused. "Why doesn't Megan go by Doctor Watson? I mean, that's a really cool name."

" _You_ ask her, but keep your lips to yourself—or to me." Jared pointed to his own lips. As he refilled his coffee cup he said, "Jeff can make it. He texted me saying that the trial was postponed, so he'll be flying home from Miami on Tuesday."

"Neat. Now with him and your dad there, the whole Team Padalecki Law Firm will be in the front row cheering you on." Jensen looked in mock horror. "They're not bringing noisemakers and wearing party hats, are they?"

"Don't hate us because we're beautiful."

"And goofy."

"That we are. And speaking of invites, how about we invite _your_ folks to fly up? That way when they meet me, they'll see I'm smart, well-respected and have great taste in headwear."

"I don't think so. My mother doesn't travel well."

"I'd like to meet them. Maybe someday we'll fly down and do the "Meet the 'Rents" thing?"

Jensen smiled fondly before shaking his head. "I don't travel well either." He took his coffee cup to the sink and rinsed it out. "So, how about a ride to work?"

"Maybe you should call Chris. Take the morning off. You had a bad night last night."

"Not so bad. Good company, good music, big bed."

"You're only saying that 'cause you want something, right?" Jared took a couple of steps closer.

"Hmm. Maybe. Maybe I want to see how hot you look in a form fitting tux and a black silk bandanna."

"With a silver Maltese cross?"

"Uh huh." Jensen nodded. "And then, the black bandanna without the tux."

"Kiss me, you dirty boy." Jared opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out seductively.

"Goldarnit Mr. Lamarr," Jensen twanged, "You use your tongue purtier than a twenty dollar whore."

Jared snorted. "Stuff never gets old with _me_? Apparently, you have the whole _Blazing Saddles_ script memorized."

"My cheesiness is endearing, too," Jensen smiled.

Jared shook his head laughing. "I kinda love you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Me too." Jensen kissed him gently. "Surprised you still do."

"Yup, I still do." Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's waist, kissed his lips, then softly up behind his ear. "Still and always."

"Sap," Jensen snickered, but turned and took Jared's mouth for a lingering kiss before pulling back. "So?"

"Yeah." Jared grabbed his car keys. "Off to _The Green Grower_ for you. For me, it's off to the stationary store, the post office, the phone to call my mom, and finally the _Tuxedo Shoppe For Men_ even though it's redundant because I'm fairly positive there isn't a _Tuxedo Shoppe For Women_ anywhere around, but I could be wrong. And what's with the extra 'pe' in Shoppe. I mean there's so much wrong with the name of that place. You sure you're doing okay?"

"Pretty sure." Jensen leaned in, sucking Jared's lower lip into his mouth again. "Yes. Pretty damn sure."

"Okay, then," Jared said, pleased with Jensen's way of shutting him up.

Jensen winked. He picked up his knapsack and slung it over his good shoulder. "Now, drive me to work, manservant."

"That's _Doctor_ Manservant to you."

Jensen bumped Jared's shoulder playfully as he walked toward the front door. Jared watched the way Jensen's body moved across the tiled floor and down the hallway. Jensen's confident strides were marred by a sway to the right and a soft lurch to the left to compensate, another after-effect of the powerful drugs that ended the pain.

Jensen was determined, and he was stubborn, but, dear God, how Jared loved that idiot.

~~*~~*~~

"Good heavens, Dr. Padalecki."

"What? Running out of measuring tape there, Paul?"

"I don't think I've ever had to alter a tux to make it all legs before."

Jared chuckled. "If you think that's bad, check this out." He stretched his arms out to the side then up in front of him. Both cuffs of the long sleeved raglan tee rode up to mid-forearm.

"I see. Part giraffe, part condor."

"Boy, your tux fitting history is very diverse." Jared smiled down at the man measuring his inseam.

The bells above the door frame jingled and both the measurer and measuree looked up. Jared sucked in a breath and stared. A slender, blond man stood in the doorway. Sunlight slanted against his handsome features, but didn't obscure them.

"Hey, how you doing, JT?"

"Chad?"

"In the flesh, man."

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking out a tux. There's an awards banquet coming up, dude, and I’m invited. I look amazing in a tux."

"You aren't winning anything."

"You're right. I'm not getting an award so I don't need a tux, but I knew _you_ did." Chad walked in a few steps. "It's been a while, Jay, and I wanted to see you."

"Stalking the tux shop? Not creepy at all, man."

Chad shook his head, "No, a quick call to Paul, here, asking when you were coming in. What can I say? You look as awesome in a tux as I do, so I came in to check you out."

"I'm sorry, Doctor P." Paul looked up, eyes large and brows raised. "I hope that was okay?"

Jared smiled tightly. "Not a problem, but can you go ahead and finish this up?"

"You know, you're big news, man." Chad crossed over facing Jared directly. "The publishing, your research projects, the documentary, and with the awards you're winning, your name's fucking everywhere."

"They're accolades, and I don't want to see you."

Chad continued as though Jared hadn't spoken. "You're all over the local papers as well as the academic news. Everywhere I look, JT, and I just wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you. I've always been proud of you."

"You're hanging around the tux shop because you read my name in the paper?"

Chad's cocky demeanor fell away. "God, Jared, it was bad enough before, when you were always on digs or in the stacks, but now that we don't talk, now that I don't even see you, it's worse."

Paul finished his measurements and hurried to the back of the store behind the curtains.

"Where's all this coming from, Chad? You trying to win a bet or something?" Jared went behind the screen to re-dress.

"I miss you, man. Honest to God. I've been missing you since I threw that ultimatum in your face. I was a jerk. I know it was my fault we split, and I miss you. Hey, c'mon Jay, don't you miss me, even a little? You've _got_ to remember how fucking amazing it was with us."

"Yesterday's news, Chad."

"We had it going on, JT. It was fun, at least when I wasn't being a prick."

Jared emerged from behind the screen buckling his belt. "You were always being a prick; I just didn't always realize it." He grabbed his messenger bag and hoodie off the chair and called out, "Paul, pants are on the counter. I'll be in touch."

"Yes, sir, Dr. P," came Paul's muffled response.

"Jared, that's not true, and you know it."

"Go away, Chad. I've moved on."

"I know. I've seen him hanging around with you."

"We're not going there," Jared pushed by, heading for the door.

Chad stepped to the left, blocking his way, "Give me a minute, one more minute, that's all."  
Jared huffed. "What the hell do you want?"

"Shit, this is hard. Harder than I ever thought it was going to be." Chad inhaled sharply. "Jared, I stalked the tux shop so I could ask you to give me another chance. Seriously, man, I won't make the same mistakes if you…God, man, think about it. We were good together. Fuck, JT, we were _great_ together." Chad grasped Jared's elbow. "I've never felt like this with anyone else."

Jared stopped, because some of that was true. Chad said, "I know that this isn't the time or place, but can we meet sometime to talk? The two of us? I want to make it right. There are things I need to tell you."

Jared bit his tongue and tried to say nothing, but it wasn't in his nature. "Like what?"

"Like, I'm sorry." A pale pink blushed Chad's cheeks. "Did you ever think you'd hear me say that?"

"No," Jared replied honestly.

"Well, the bitch of it is, I am. I _am_ sorry. I was wrong. I was wrong to think I could make you chose me over your work. I was wrong leaving you and treating you like shit after. It was wrong to hurt you. I mean that, man."

"Okay, you said it." Jared moved his arm away and out of Chad's reach but noticed the soft look and handsome face. Chad Murray was his first real love.

"You loved me back then, Jared."

"That's true," Jared said. "But we have nothing to talk about, because it's not true now."

"Let me make it up to you. You know how in sync we are. We're sympatico, man. I'm good for you."

"No. You're not." Out of Jared's front pocket floated Jensen's "You Send Me" ring tone. Jensen had great timing.

"Hey." Jared smiled, answering his phone.

 _"Can you come get me?"_

"'Course. You okay?" Jared paused. "Jen?"

 _"Yeah, yeah. Just tired and a little sore, but not that kind of sore."_

"I'll be right there." Jared flipped the phone closed and turned to Chad. "Gotta go."

"Jen? That’s the name of the guy? The one with the sling?" Chad asked.

"What part of 'We're not going there' don't you get?"

"He can't be as much fun as me."

"Go the fuck away, Chad."

"You’re too good, JT." Chad followed him out, the shop door jangling as it closed. "What do you really know about this guy?"

"Seriously Chad, shut the fuck up."

"How do you know he wasn't some drug user, living in a dingy apartment, working a part-time job, huh? Maybe he meets you and finds out that you have a big house, important job, and wide open heart, still rebounding from my stupidity of letting you go. You know how you are JT, all he'd have to do is put on a sling to make a move on you."

Jared rolled his eyes and almost laughed. "You don't have a clue, man. Not a clue."

"I mean it. I don't want to see you hurt."

"That's funny, coming from you. The one who surgically removed my heart and chopped it into little bite-sized pieces."

"I know, I know, and I'm so sorry, man. I do want to make it right." Chad stepped in close. "I want the two of us to make a new start."

"I've got to go," Jared said pointedly.

"JT, listen."

"There's nothing else to say." Jared turned away.

"C'mon, man, please."

Jared ignored the words and the speaker, climbed into his Jeep, cranked her up and headed for the campus library.

~~*~~*~~

"Lower. Lower. Now push. Yeah, right there. Really use your thumb to get in there. Yeah, god, you have great thumbs."

"Christ, Jensen, what did Chris have you do? Haul bags of cement?"

"Down a little more…yeah…yeah, now over. And, no, it was the lousy chairs in the library. I need to remember to get up and walk it off every twenty minutes or so, man, you have awesome thumbs."

"Just sitting hurts?" Jared pressed in with both thumbs and kneaded Jensen's tight back and hip. "What a little princess you are. Do I have to check for peas under the mattress now?"

"The chairs were made of something evil, but they looked so innocent and…and so _studious_. I should never have trusted them but I was on a roll and, up a little and to the left. Oh, yeah, Jared." Jensen shuddered in ecstasy as Jared dug into the spot. "Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jared."

"You better cool it with the 'Oh Jared's' because I'm about ready to steal a chair from the library and make you sit in it for two hours to hear you moan like that."

Jensen grinned up at him. "You're the best. Get down here."

Jared rolled down next to Jensen and scooted in until they were face to face. "Better?"

"Much, much." Jensen leaned in and kissed him. "Thanks, I needed that."

Jared smiled broadly. "You're welcome. You're high maintenance, but you're worth it."

"Glad you think so," Jensen said. "That means you're not trading me in for a newer, maintenance-free model then?"

"Naww, I'll stick with the old classics. Even if they…" Jared faked a cough, "I mean _you_ …" and coughed again."…are a lot of work."

"Oh, so, you'd trade me in for an _older_ model, then?" Jensen said.

Jared's eyes must have said something to Jensen. "What? What is it, Jay?"

Jared squinted at the ceiling. "Uh, speaking of older models…I saw my ex today."

"Oh," Jensen said, neutrally. "Where did you run into him?"

Jared squirmed. "Actually, he tracked me down at the tuxedo place."

"Tracked you down?"

Jared sighed and sat up, looking down at Jensen. "His name is Chad Murray. He said that he's been seeing my name bandied around in the local newspaper and university newsletter."

"Wait. Your ex is on staff at the university?"

"We work on opposite ends of the campus. I never run into him, I never see him, he's easy to avoid. He said he knew I'd need a tux, and called to find out when I'd be in."

"Like that's not creepy at all."

"That's what I said."

"So, what did he want?" Jensen sat up facing him, cradling his sling-free arm in his lap. "It sounds like he went to some trouble to see you."

"I didn't let him talk too much."

"Does he want to get back with you?"

"Sounded like he might." Jared went onto his back, gently taking Jensen down with him. "But that's not an option."

"Damn right, that's not an option." Jensen moved close and whispered into Jared's ear. "After all the work I've gone to, you think I'm going to give up those thumbs without a fight?"

"Ooh, Jensen, my hero," Jared fluttered his eyelids. "Not givin' me up without a fight?"

"I'll take him, too," Jensen said. "I don't care how big he is, I can take him with one arm tied behind my back."

For some reason, that struck Jared as terribly moving. He blinked and looked away.

Jensen chuckled nervously, "What? What did I say?"

"Everything right," Jared answered. "Let us never speak of Chad Murray in our bed ever again."

"Done and done." Jensen carefully flipped over onto his back and scooted down. "Hey, Jared."

"Yeah?"

"I should _so_ make fun of you for using words like 'bandied'."

"Says the guy whose boyfriend has to haul the mattress up looking for small round vegetables so that _you_ can get a good night sleep."

"Well, it's one way to get your attention."

Jared said, "You know, there is a better way to get my attention. But since 'bandied' is above your vocabulary expertise, I'll have to use language you'll understand."

"Hit me with your best shot, cowboy."

Jared pulled off his undershirt, slid off his gym shorts and boxer briefs and lay down on his back. He pumped his hips twice and said, "How about, 'Batter up?' "

~~*~~*~~

Jared's house was big, but Jared's parents' house was bigger. Jensen's description of his family as "goofy" was pretty accurate. "Eccentric," "free spirited," and "a little nuts" were also appropriate terms.

Because the university was hosting a "Meet the Award Winners" event after the ceremony, Professor Mom wanted a "Before the Accolades" party at her house. Jared's family, friends, and anyone his proud dad met on the street that day were invited. Many of them came.

Jared wore his fitted tux; his hair neatly slicked back exposing a sparkling row of silver hoops down his right ear. Jensen looked handsome in his charcoal gray suit, silver tie and light, black cotton, easy over the shoulder sling. Jensen's arm wasn't hurting very much and this lightweight sling was just to remind him to be careful.

Jensen's friend Chris and his wife Charlotte came, Charlotte toting her digital camcorder to chronicle the event. They had to leave right after the awards ceremony to visit Charlotte's sister, so she was busy capturing as many scenes for posterity as she could.

Jared's family had never asked Jensen about his arm although Jared had filled them in. The men always offered their left hand to greet him with a handshake, and Jared's mom set Jensen's water glass and silverware to the left without comment. Megan never failed to congratulate Jared on his fine taste in men.

Jared had the Best. Family. Ever.

"So, Meg, Jensen was asking me why you don't go by Dr. Watson." Jared was in the kitchen filling his water glass. "Why do you bother with the Padalecki and the hyphen when being Doctor Watson sounds so cool?"

"You know, he's right." Megan turned to her husband. "What do you say, Brian? Should I let the world know that I'm in it for the long haul and go with Doctor Watson? You could be my Robert Downey, Jr."

"It would certainly save on ink." Brian fit right in with the rest of the Padalecki family. "How would the envelopes be addressed then, dear? Doctor and Mr. Watson?"

"Of course not. It would have to be Mr. and Doctor Watson, otherwise what good would it do getting rid of the Padalecki and the hyphen? Oh, maybe Doctor Watson and Mister?"

Jared left them to their decision-making. He looked around and saw Jensen sitting on the living room couch in deep discussion with his brother, Jeff. He casually made his way up behind them, but knew they didn't see him because Jeff was saying, "It took a while for Jared to come to the right decision about Chad. He and I talked a lot, and I said that he shouldn't sacrifice his life's passion for anyone. There should be mutual support between the person you love and the person who loves you. Chad was forcing Jay in a different direction in a pretty threatening way."

"He threatened Jared? Really?"

"Not with physical harm, but with emotional blackmail. For instance, he'd say that if he left Jared, Jay would end up alone with only artifacts and published articles to keep him company. Nobody else would ever "get" him. It was bullshit, but I think it scared him."

"I get him," Jensen said softly.

"You really do." Jeff smiled in agreement.

"Why would he put up with that?"

"Well," Jeff paused. "Jared had never been in a long-term relationship until Chad, and he was really into him."

"Yeah, Jared told me that he loved him."

"He did," Jeff agreed. "After Jared ended it, Chad wouldn't leave him alone. He'd do a number on him by drive-by texting from some party or making sure Jay saw him with other men—and women. It hurt. I think Jared thought he'd screwed up his life by dumping that asshole."

Jeff took a long drink of ginger ale. "I wondered how long it would take him to get over the shit Chad threw at him. Did you know that Jared left the country soon after the break-up? Some dig in the boondocks of North Africa."

"I met Jared after he came back." Jensen looked down at the intricately patterned Persian rug. "Jeff, do you think he…I mean, was I…"

The crash and tinkling sound of broken glass, and subsequent laughter made Jared turn and miss what Jensen asked his brother.

"…lutely not," Jeff was saying earnestly. "Jared’s not like that. Doesn't matter anyway, you know how he feels about you."

Jared backed up and came around to the front of the room striding purposefully to the sofa. "Excuse me, Jeff," Jared said with a brilliant smile, "Gimme some room here, please."

"Thanks, Jeff," Jensen said.

Jeff stood, leaving sitting room next to Jensen.

Jensen tilted his head up. "Hey, Accolade Boy."

Jared sat, scooched up next to him and said, "Hey, Princess."

Jensen rolled his eyes.

Before Jared could say anything else, his mother clapped her hands and announced, "Everybody! Get up, get in your vehicles and meet us all at the university conference center auditorium. Tonight, my boy is about to officially be cited as a person of Excellence." She turned to Jared. "I could've told them that _years_ ago." She blew him a kiss and took Dad Padalecki's arm and car keys.

Dad shrugged and said, "Last one there's a rotten egg."

Jensen turned to Jared, eyes alight. "Since I don't want to be a rotten egg…" He got up and headed for the front door.

The rest of the guests hurried to their cars, most, in their haste, without even acknowledging the guest of honor.

Jared watched his parent's house clear out in his name. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a silk bandanna with a silver Maltese cross. Smiling as he knotted the black fabric under his hair, Jared looked around at the empty house and said, "It's show time."

~~*~~*~~

"The awards for both _"Excellence in Teaching"_ and _"Outstanding Research and Creative Activity"_ go to the Department Chair of the Archeology Department, and the youngest department chair this university has ever had.

"This distinguished recipient is also the Director of Undergraduate Studies, professor, researcher, prolific publisher of professional articles, part time director of the Historical Preservation Plan in St. Mary's County, Maryland, volunteer member of The Annapolis Project, Annapolis, Maryland, project manager and liaison between this university, William and Mary College, and the National Parks Service, Jamestown Restoration Program, Jamestown, Virginia, liaison with the Bamburgh Research Project and the University of Oxford, United Kingdom, currently editing his documentary made with their collaboration, and writing a professional treatise based upon the findings tentatively titled, _"A Treatise on Comparative Cultures and the Fusion of Ancient European Influences into Contemporary New World Societies,"_ a ceramics teacher in whatever spare time is left, and an all round good guy, ladies and gentlemen I am pleased to present to you, Doctor Jared T. Padalecki."

Jared approached the podium and looked out on the applauding crowd. His students stomped, hooted and cat-called, "Doc-tor Jay! Doc-tor Jay!" A young female voice shrieked, "We love you, Doc Pads!"

A brief flash of a similar situation when dual stands came to their feet at a softball game honoring Jensen made him blink against the intensity of the stage lights.

"Thank you all for coming tonight." As the crowd quieted, Jared scanned the front row and smiled. "Hi, Mom!" he waved.

"Hi, sweetie!" She waved back and the audience chuckled.

"Wow. Look at this. My family, friends, students, and colleagues." Jared raised a hand expansively. "Except for my dogs, my whole life is here in this auditorium. I can't tell you what a kick it is, and what a humbling experience this is for me."

Jared looked out at the crowd. "And as you all know, it's really hard to humble me."

The onlookers laughed politely.

" _Two_ honors, huh? One for Research and Activities, and one for Excellence. Wow."

Jared paused, centering himself before he spoke.

"I have to say, the Research and Activities part comes easy for me, it's what I love, it's my passion, and I sincerely thank you for this recognition. The "Excellence" part's another story, though. That's tricky. Recognizing me for that? I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."

Jared smiled and glanced down at his notes.

"Confucius said: _The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence._ And while I'm hard pressed to argue with someone who came up with these profound words five hundred years before Christ, I do want to add something.

"For me, _professional_ excellence, my desire to succeed, comes not only from teaching others, but gaining knowledge from others, planting seeds of doubt, seeds of thought, and seeds of wonder in others, and, hopefully, seeing, experiencing, and appreciating the same for myself. If I ever do reach my full potential it will be because of the things I learned through teaching.

"I believe that _personal_ excellence begins with the ability to recognize opportunities for self- improvement, and to do better—for myself, my family, my students, and for society. Acknowledging the gifts I possess and using them to those ends. Also, to give love and to be loved, and to maybe one day feel worthy of the greatest love of my life."

He looked up and out. "I'm still working on that one."

"Excellence, both personal and professional, is a lifelong journey, and if I have approached some aspect of excellence it is because of the examples of excellence around me.

"I am inspired by this university. Its dedicated staff devoted to educating and expanding students' minds.

"Our students will come after us in this timeline and I am inspired by them. Young men and women who come to us with thirsty minds and who understand that life isn't just the here and now, but a culmination of past, present and future experiences.

"I am inspired by the examples of my family: my mother and father, my brother and my sister. These successful and brilliant people who not only humored me as I marched to the tune I heard drumming in my head, but picked up a set of drum sticks to beat along with it.

"I am inspired to excellence by having the good fortune of living with it. Goodness, kindness, humility, strength, and perseverance despite stunning circumstances, are goals almost too lofty for anyone to achieve, but I know it _is_ possible and I am inspired by you every day."

His eyes fell on Jensen sitting in the front row next to his father.

"Thank you Dean Vernon, for the privilege of teaching here. Thank you staff, students and awards committee, I am honored and pleased that you feel I'm on the right path. Thank you for these accolades. I hope to live up to the faith you have in me and will try to achieve your highest expectation of me. I am proud—deeply proud—of the honors you do me tonight." He took a step back from the podium.

The audience rose to their feet. Jared watched as Jensen, eyes shining, and face beaming, patted his thigh with his left hand in time with the clapping. Jared's eyes flicked up to Chad standing behind Jensen, arms aloft applauding the air almost over Jensen's head.

'Not an option,' Jared smirked to himself. 'Not even close.'

~~*~~*~~

The "Meet the Award Winners" banquet was a happy madhouse. Jared was one of fourteen award recipients, all of whom had friends and family in attendance. The students, family and faculty of the State University at Regency Park were invited, and it was crowded. The night was warm and all these well-dressed people made for a lot of body heat.

"Jay, give me the keys. I'm going to take this off and put it in the car." Jensen tilted his chin to the right. "I'm hot."

Jared raised an eyebrow. "I know."

"Key, please?" Jensen held his hand out for the car key.

"I'll go with you." Jared touched Jensen's elbow and led them toward the parking lot.

Jensen often tucked his hand into his pants pocket when the pain was low. Since the sling made him warm under regular circumstances, Jared reluctantly helped him slip it off.

"Jensen," Jared said sternly after tossing the sling into the back seat. "Behave."

"No promises." Jensen used his left hand to lift his right and placed it deep into his front pocket. "Ah, that's better. Now let's get back to your adoring public."

Jared stayed close to Jensen, every arrival looking like a potential jolt to his unprotected arm. However, Jensen apparently was unimpressed with the press of the crowd and eased himself from under Jared's protective wing to mingle and get something to drink.

"Dr. Padalacky, I can't tell you how much you've meant to my son and myself," said a stocky, middle-aged woman as she shook Jared's hand. "Your influence has been life-altering, and I really wanted to thank you for that."

"It's 'me,'" Jared said with an easy grin.

"Well, of course it's you," the mother replied kindly.

"No, I mean, 'How much you've meant to my son and _me_.' "

"I have?" she asked.

"No, I have," Jared replied.

" _You_ have?" she asked.

"That's what you just said."

"Then I must have meant it." The woman thrust her hand out again, and Jared shook it warmly.

"You're welcome," said Jared, smiling.

She beamed and wandered back over to the wine bar. Jared scanned the crowd until he saw Chad talking to Jensen at one of the long dessert tables.

"Dr. Padalecki! Congratulations!" A gray haired gentleman, around Jared's father's age, stuck his right hand out in front of Jared's face.

"Thank you, Professor Douglas," Jared replied shaking his hand politely while keeping his eyes on the two men over by the mini éclairs.

"You're a hell of a teacher. A _hell_ of a teacher! My daughter, Eileen, is taking your Intro class and talks about you all the time. Anyone who can get her thinking of something other than what new eyeliner is on the market is aces in my book."

"Thank you, sir. Thank you very much, and if Eileen is becoming less Goth every day, I hope that satisfies you," Jared said. He excused himself to glide nearer to the pastries, where he stood half hidden behind a support pillar. He could just barely make out what Chad was saying to Jensen.

"Jared thinks you need him, and _you_ know that _needing_ him makes Jared all warm and gushy inside. But you're going to slip up some day, _Jen_." Chad's voice was low. "And Jay's going to find out that all you ever wanted from him was his big house, big bed and big dick."

Jensen stood at the banquet table nodding, looking thoughtfully into his glass of white wine. "I can't argue with you there, I do like his bed…I’m sorry, what was your name again?"

Jared snorted into his hand, and covered it by clearing his throat.

"My name is Chad Michael Murray. Remember it."

"You were a fool, you know."

"What?"

"I said that you were a self-centered, stubborn, and stupid, dumb-ass fool who didn't know a good thing—didn't know the _best_ thing—when he had it."

"I'm not a dumb-ass." Chad clenched and unclenched his fists. "Where do you get off talking to me like that?"

Jared tensed. Jensen casually sipped from his wineglass staring directly into Chad’s face. He knew he should stop this, but watching Jensen screw with Chad was priceless.

"Where exactly do you think you stand with Jared?" Chad asked. "You think he'll love you enough to give it up? I'm telling you, he'll drop you like molten lava if he thinks you're getting in the way of his travels, his studies, and his publishing to fame. You won't be able to keep him from leaving when there's a dig some continent away."

"See, that was your mistake, Chad." Jensen finished off the wine, put the glass down and licked his lips. "You thought tying Jared down would keep him close, so you threatened him to make sure he'd come back. You were wrong. So fucking wrong. "

"Don't pretend like you know me because you don't."

Jensen reached for a bottle of water behind the snacks. "No, I guess I don't, but Jared knew you, he loved you. Loved you so much it almost fucking broke his spirit when you left. But you can't tie someone like him down, it's like tying an anchor to the tail of a hawk; the hawk will die trying to fly, it's his nature. You gotta let Jared loose, man. Give him space and a place to land when he's done. You've got to let him take off and do what's in _his_ nature."

Jensen eyed the twist top of the water bottle, sighed and placed it back on the table. "When he's done, he'll always come home."

"I can love him like that. I want him back."

"I see that you might, but it doesn't matter to me, or to Jared. That's not an option."

Jensen contemplated the desserts and reached for a sugar cookie. "You, Chad Michael Murray, are _not_ an option."

The next chain of events happened quickly. Too quickly. One moment, Jared's lover and ex-lover were speaking harsh words but courteously to one another. There were cartoon hearts in Jared's eyes as he listened to Jensen talking about him. Then Chad grabbed Jensen's right shoulder, Jensen's _bad_ shoulder, and forced him to turn around. The tightness in Jensen's lips and the blinking of his eyes showed that Chad hit a sore spot.

"Doctor Padalecki, let me congratulate you on your…"

"Excuse me, ma'am."

"I'm not going to roll over, and I'm not going away." Chad poked Jensen's shoulder for emphasis, but with too much force.

Time slowed until Jared realized what was happening. He shoved off the pillar, colliding into a knot of wine drinkers crowded around the cheese and crackers.

"Move!" He pushed them aside. "Let me through, _goddamn it_."

Jensen hissed and doubled over, helpless when his right hand flopped out of his pocket in a painful downward arc. He grabbed for his elbow to stabilize his arm, but staggered into the dessert table, dumping a tray of brownies onto the floor.

Chad quickly reached out to steady him and caught Jensen by the wrist, yanking the sling-less right arm out and away from the protection of Jensen's body. Jensen made a distressed sound and frantically tried to retrieve his wrist with his good left hand.

"Chad! No!" Jared yelled.

Chad kept hold as he swung around at the sound of Jared's voice. Jensen, thrown off balance, stumbled to his knees. Chad hauled back hard to pull him up.

Jared swore he heard the muscles tear, the tendons pop and the bone in Jensen's arm snap. He plowed through the gathering crowd.

"Stop it right now! Jesus Christ, Murray, what the hell is wrong with you?" Misha's voice shouted out over the din of the astonished guests. Jensen's knees buckled when Misha pulled Chad away. "What the fuck did you do, Chad?"

"I didn't do anything. He's got to be faking."

"He's _not_ faking, you idiot. Jensen has a hang tag."

Chad turned and faced Misha, bewildered. "A what?"

Jared caught Jensen around his waist. "911! Call 911. We need an ambulance."

Jensen's skin was clammy as Jared sat them both on the floor. "Jesus, fuck," Jensen breathed into the pain. "You sure know how to…" Jensen stopped and swallowed.

"Shh. Don't talk. Help's on the way."

"You sure know how to pick 'em. Fuck. Oh, fuck." Jensen leaned over and threw up on the pant cuffs of Jared's rented tux.

Jared cradled Jensen close, lifting him up almost onto his lap, careful to support Jensen's arm as he moved him. Jensen had paled to gray. Jared curled his arms around him, gently hugging him close as he whispered, "Easy, Jensen, be easy. Deep breaths."

Jensen took a deep, shuddering breath and whimpered on the exhale.

"It's okay. You're going to be okay." Jared spoke softly, "Hey, hey listen. So, you know, I'm thinking that instead of Maryland or Virginia or the UK, the dogs and I should start digging in the backyard for artifacts. It's a lot closer to home and puppy labor is cheap."

"Cheap…is good." Unable to keep up the banter Jared was trying for, Jensen caught his breath and blinked up at him. "Is it broken? My arm? Fuck, it hurts."

"I can't tell, Jen. Stay still."

Jared's father and brother ran interference, asking the crowd to please step away and give them room. Jared's mother kept an eye on Chad, while his sister and brother-in-law maintained a clear path for when the EMTs arrived.

Misha sank his fingers into Chad's arm, looked into his face and enunciated, "Chad, you are an asshole and a stupid fuck."

Jensen started shivering and closed his eyes. Jared shrugged his jacket off and wrapped it around him. "Hey, _I_ was supposed to be the center of attention tonight. Way to steal my thunder."

"Sorry," Jensen whispered. He tucked down into Jared's arms, working on controlling the shaking. "Jay, tell them not to…tell them I don't want any surgery."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, babe. Let them take a look at you first."

Jared looked to where Misha had his death grip on Chad.

"You know, Chad, I thought it hurt when you asked how I could ever care for anyone if my work meant so much to me. I thought it hurt when you told me I had to quit the job or quit you. I really thought it hurt when you packed every ounce of stuff you owned and moved out, telling me to 'have a good life.' But this?" Jared gently rocked Jensen as the sirens got louder, "This hurts more than anything you have ever done."

"Jared, man, I didn't mean to."

"Chad, I don't care." Jared turned to Jensen and nuzzled into his hair. "They're almost here," he whispered. "They'll hook you up right. Soon you'll be pumped up with joy juice, watching pink elephants two-stepping with polka dotted mice."

"Let him go."

"What?"

"Tell Misha to let Chad go," Jensen mumbled into Jared's chest.

Jared looked over to Misha who turned Chad loose.

Jensen stared up at Jared with red-rimmed eyes. "We're done with him." Jensen shifted in Jared's lap and whatever color was left, drained from his face.

The EMTs arrived and the room was cleared of everyone but Jared, Jensen, Misha and Jared's mother. Jared's mother kissed Jensen's and then Jared's forehead right before the door to the ambulance closed and latched.

~~*~~*~~

Jared quietly shut the door to Jensen's hospital room and sighed. While he slept, Jared would get the prescriptions filled in preparation for taking him home.

"Hello, Jay."

He turned and smiled. "Hey, hi, Misha."

"How's he doing?" Misha pointed to the door.

"He's out for the count."

"That was quite a tug-of-war he had with Chad."

"I know. I'd have a hard time believing it happened except that Jensen's drugged to the gills in there."

"You know, that boyfriend of yours is a rarity. He's in the midst of mind-blowing pain, and he tells you to let Murray go. Who does that?"

Jared blamed it on the long, sleepless night and the stress of Jensen's pain, that his eyes burned and a lump formed in his throat.

"Jensen," Jared answered. "Jensen does that."

Misha patted Jared's shoulder.

He walked toward the elevator, Misha matching his steps by his side. Jared said, "You know, I heard Jensen talking to Chad right before. He said that tying an anchor to a hawk would kill it, because it's the hawk's nature to fly, or die trying."

"That's an odd conversation."

"They were talking about me."

"Oh. Was Jensen suggesting that you're bird-like?" Misha asked with a wry grin.

" _Majestic_ bird-like," Jared pointed out. "But he was wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"The reason I _can_ fly is _because_ he anchors me. Without him, I'm erratic and impulsive. He gives me stability, he gives me direction." Jared looked down at Misha. "He gives me a home."

"Then you have a paradox: The only way the hawk can fly is if he's anchored down."

"A paradox, huh?"

"Well, you've always run contrary to the prevailing winds, my friend, so it shouldn't come as any surprise that your life has been composed of one contradiction after another." Misha raised a hand.

"Oh really?" Jared teased as he pressed the elevator call button. "Like what?"

"Well, you need Jensen to keep you aground so you can spread your wings, but Jensen, the grower of things, needs you to cut his moorings so he's free to plant his roots deep into the earth. A paradox works as an apt description for the both of you, but you might prefer a different term. Karma. Divine Intervention. 'The Force.'"

Jared turned to Misha as the elevator dinged. "The Force?"

"If the stormtrooper helmet fits." Misha shrugged.

"I'll have to tell him you called him a 'rarity,'" Jared said, stepping through the open doors.

"I understand." Misha replied. "Do what you must."

~~*~~*~~

"We've got to stop meeting like this." Jensen's eyes were warm and hazy as he looked down on Jared's palm circling his chest.

"You're telling me. Shit, man," Jared used his mock pissed off voice. "You owe me a big 'thank you.' "

"I do?" Jensen slurred and cracked the half grin that Jared found so adorable.

"Big, huge, big." Jared smiled brightly and nodded.

Jensen's voice went stoned serious. "How bad is it? Is it broken? Did they have to…?" Jensen made a sawing motion with his left hand.

"Nope. No cutting. No broken bones, you're going to be fine once the pain wears off. And you'll have plenty of drugs for that and me to thank."

"Thank God." Jensen sighed in relief and then asked, "Why do I have to thank you for the drugs?"

"No, you don't thank me for the _drugs_ ," Jared laughed. "But the doctor said that because the muscles in your shoulder had been stretched regularly by your kind, caring and _dedicated_ boyfriend, there was enough mobility in the joint and elasticity in the muscles to withstand Shithead Murray's yanking on you.

"Not only that, that crack I thought was your bone breaking was actually tough adhesions snapping lose. Thick scar tissue that tied your shoulder joint down as a result of immobility and the mistreatment it's gone through. So, you've actually ended up with more range. If we play our cards right, you and I can keep working on increasing the range of motion in a less, uh, traumatic way."

Jensen stared with glazed eyes. "Huh."

"Think of it as having had a manipulation without anesthesia."

"Anesthesia woulda been good." Jensen said sleepily.

"I know, babe."

"Go home soon?"

"Yeah, as soon as the hard drugs wear off. They pumped you so full up getting the pain level down that you went all the way to dreamland. With this many chemicals swirling around your system, they kept you here to make sure you didn't explode."

"Good thinking."

"I thought so." Jared continued pressing comforting circles into Jensen's chest, carefully avoiding his right arm propped up on pillows out to the side. "We were lucky. Chad could have broken your arm."

"But he didn't." Jensen winced, as he tried to sit up higher in the bed. "Told you you were doing me good."

"Yeah, you did." Jared ruffled his hair gently and then used the bed controls to sit him up. "Hey, I heard you talking to my brother last night."

"Eavesdropping on your own family? Not cool, man." But there was no heat behind the words.

"You weren't a rebound."

"I wasn't a rebound." Jensen's eyebrows knitted together. "Is that what I said?"

Jared inhaled deep letting it out slow. "Okay, so, here's the chain of events. I met Chad at a massive faculty-wide meeting four something years ago. Probably around the time you were pitching your last game."

"I was with Steve then."

Jensen rarely spoke his ex's name, and it was probably because he was high on heavy meds that he mentioned him now. Still the name sounded sour coming from Jensen's lips and Jared was struck with a stab of jealousy so strong he flushed with it.

"Maybe, yeah."

Jensen made a feeble waving motion with his good hand. "And?"

"And, we hit it off. Chad was loud, irreverent, and fun. Once we got together, we were inseparable. He was the center of my life, even _bigger_ than life. It was intoxicating and addictive. My brain knew it was a dangerous combination, but my heart was calling the shots."

Jensen pressed his lips together and looked away.

"It was never going to work, and not just because of my job. He needed more than I could give him, and the more he needed from me, the more I needed for myself. Relationships like that are always destructive. They burn hot and flame out spectacularly. My brain finally came in handy when I recognized that and let him go."

"You left the country." Jensen said.

"Yes, but only because I'd committed to that dig months before. I didn't rush off to another continent to escape the heartbreak that was Chad." Jared touched Jensen's chin and tipped it up. "And I didn't come back looking for his replacement."

Jared went back to circling Jensen's heart with his hand. "I won't lie to you, though. It helped being an ocean away for a while."

Jensen nodded somberly. "And then?"

"And then I came back and immersed myself in my work. I'd given up Chad for it so it must have been what I wanted, right? Work, work, and more work? I taught, I wrote articles, I visited dig sites, I made contacts with overseas projects and universities, and then I did something really wacky. I signed up to teach a night class in ceramics."

"I know this part."

"Yeah, you do. I almost had to cancel the class due to lack of interest, and that wouldn't do. I mean, if I didn't keep you signed up, I would've had to close it down, and then what would I have done with all that extra night school time on my hands?"

"You used me." Jensen's tired eyes were gleaming.

"Yes, shamelessly. You were without a doubt the reason I kept that class open, the reason I got my life back, and the reason I'm where I am today, accepting awards for work and excellence. You were never a rebound. You, my best friend and best love, allowed _me_ to rebound back into my life."

"So, I wasn't just another pretty face?" Jensen yawned a smile behind his hand as the morphine pump clicked off and stayed off.

"I never thought that," Jared said seriously. "It was never like that with you."

"I guess it couldn't have been. Not with my epic meltdown the first night we met."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, but that was when I fell in love with you."

"Sap." Jensen gave Jared that crooked little grin again.

"That's me. All this excellence coming out of me because a pottery stool teetered and almost dumped you out. So no more dissing the strong winds blowing over the Alps."

Jensen blinked slowly. "I don't know what that means."

Jared laughed. "Sleep it off, and then I'll take you home. The pups miss you."

"Mm'kay, but when we get back, don't forget to check under the mattress."

"Sure thing, Princess."

Jared took the controls and lowered the head of Jensen's bed. Jensen cuddled his head against the pillow as he settled.

"Jare?"

"Um hum?"

Jensen stared up at him, bleary-eyed but intently. "It's you, you know. Every day. What you said. Every fucking day, Jay."

"Now _I_ don't know what _that_ means," Jared chuckled.

"It's you. Good, kind, patient and strong. _You_ are all that, but you're even _more_. You take care of me even though it's hard sometimes, and you _never_ complain. You quote lines from old movies to make me laugh, and sing to me to keep the pain at bay. You love me, you give me everything and then give _me_ all the credit, but it's you. _You_ are everything. It's all you, Jared. Every day."

"You're wasted."

"It's you." Jensen said meaningfully.

Jared shook his head. "It's both of us. We couldn't do it without us. You get that, right?"

"Yeah, I get you," Jensen murmured sleepily. "Hey, Jared?"

"What?"

"I kinda love you, you know."

"I know. Me, too." Jared pressed a kiss to Jensen's forehead and said softly, "Misha called you a rarity. And a paradox."

"Sure, talk smack about the guy in the hospital bed." Jensen's voice was whisper-thin, as he skirted the line between consciousness and oblivion.

Jared knew that Jensen was only seconds away from sleep, so he kept talking to push him over. "Well, we figured, with you being as vocabularily challenged as you are, we could get away with it if the words were big enough. Besides, he called me a paradox, too."

Jensen sighed a smile, but his eyelids lost the battle to stay open, and his head dropped.

"Yeah." Jared ran his fingers lightly through Jensen's short hair. "To fly free, we both need to hold tight to each other, so apparently you and I are a couple of _contradictions_."

His eyes were bright as he paused a moment. "I guess I could get poetic and say destiny entwined our lives, and fate brought us together. Or that you're a rarity, and I'm a hawk. Misha called us a paradox. But I wouldn't call it any of those things."

Jared looked down, smiling at Jensen snoring open mouthed and drooling on the pillow.

"I'd call it magic."

~~*~~*~~fin~~*~~*~~

**Author's Note:**

> [Cue exit music](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX1mBpsWoMI)  
>  To Jensen: Still and Always  
> The Grower of Things.  
> My Inspiration.  
> My Anchor.  
> My Wings.
> 
> Abracadabra, babe!
> 
>  
> 
>   
> [   
> ](http://pics.livejournal.com/tcs1121/pic/000066zc/)   
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Los Links
> 
>  **If you would like a single .pdf of all three stories in this 'verse, it's available[HERE](http://www.mediafire.com/?31lb1di8uvked9e)**
> 
> Original prompt for _Twists and Turns_ provided by over at the [H/C RPF Meme](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_hurtcomfort/222308.html?page=1#comments).
> 
> [American RSD Hope](http://www.rsdhope.org)   
> [Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Association](http://www.rsdsa.org/index2.html)   
> [Manipulation Under Anesthesia](http://therotater.com/blog/frozen-shoulder-manipulation)   
> [Another source for Manipulation Under Anesthesia](http://www.shoulderdoc.co.uk/article.asp?section=862)
> 
> Here's the site where I snagged the image of the [paradox clock](http://biggreenbreath.blogspot.com/2009/07/paradox-play.html) , and here, the image of the [Maltese Cross](http://www.merchantcircle.com/business/Precision.Tree.Choppers.319-795-3103/picture/gallery#p1300853)
> 
> And just for fun, Jensen's [ You Send Me Ringtone](http://www.myxer.com/ringtone:5186928/)
> 
> Jared's fine selection of music:
> 
> The Five Satins- [In the Still of the Night](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRb1-SAAIzs)  
> The Duprees- [You Belong to Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_VOU93wvKc&feature=related)  
> Carla Bruni- [You Belong to Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=murYvyEzpUM)  
> Barbara Lewis- [Baby I'm Yours](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6aqf52yfQQ)  
> Ben E. King and the Drifters- [ This Magic Moment](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A73f2AzKBAY&feature=related)
> 
> And of course:  
> Sam Cooke- [You Send Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX6QlnlMqjE)  
> Patsy Cline- [Crazy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-wJNpWgss8)  
> Righteous Brothers- [Unchained Melody](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6xb_ddP4nM&feature=related)
> 
> Additional numbers in Jared's repertoire for when Jensen's hurting:
> 
> The Skyliners- [Since I Don't Have You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngZh6ZSRoYg)  
> Nat King Cole- [Unforgettable](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDN5rG3wLa4&feature=related)  
> Ben E. King- [ Stand By Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbg7YoXiKn0&feature=related)  
> Otis Redding- [ Sitting On the Dock of the Bay](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nA18g_PwG0 )  
> Dobie Gray- [Drift Away](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr_eVcCAUXo)  
> Jimmy Cliff- [ I Can See Clearly Now](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzGV9Bl6CGg&feature=related)  
> Billy Eckstine- [Blue Moon](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myOxXAKT3lU&feature=fvw )
> 
> And when Jared's in an especially sappy mood:
> 
> Bill Withers- [Ain't No Sunshine When (S)He's Gone](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xzDhLvhgQw&feature=related)  
> Al Green- [Let's Stay Together](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COiIC3A0ROM)  
> Elvis Presley- [ Can't Help Falling In Love With You ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFSfdL5lPoY)


End file.
